Quoted from the Socomlavian Emergency Report and Broadcast System (aka PineappleSocom):
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January 21, 2008
SplatterSocom, a popular political activist liked by many Socoms, was assassinated earlier this evening. Not long after, bombs dropped on Socomlavia. Reports say CarrotSocom was killed in the blasts.
These deaths have been declared "completely unacceptable" by both Blackberry and PineappleSocom, the co-presidents of Socomlavia III.
Plans for retaliation are being discussed, but an attack from the weakened state is unlikely.
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January 21 declared 'A day that will go down in infamy'
PumpkinSocom has been reported dead as of 05:00. Witnesses say he was killed in an explosion related to the Socomlavia bombings.
In other news, AnarchyGlock was assassinated in his home, where he was on indefinite leave from the Glocktopian Armada.
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BRB, NG RIOT SQUAD
PineappleSocom
there goes us